Why Teens Are Leaving The Church # 1

A few weeks back I sent you an article about why teens are leaving the church when they graduate high school. Here is a link to that article.

Reason # 9 – They never attended church to begin with.

 “From a Noah’s Ark themed nursery, to jumbotron summer-campish kids church, to pizza parties and rock concerts, many evangelical youth have been coddled in a not-quite-church, but not-quite-world hothouse. They’ve never sat on a pew between a set of new parents with a fussy baby and a senior citizen on an oxygen tank. They don’t see the full timeline of the gospel for every season of life. Instead, we’ve dumbed down the message, pumped up the volume and act surprised when…”

I sometimes have parents who apologize that their child isn’t coming to our youth group because they are going to the main service together. I always respond “Great!” A youth group is never meant as a replacement for the main service. Instead, we serve as a supplement to attending a worship service with people of all ages.

If a teen never gets used to attending a main church service, then how do we expect them to suddenly want to go when they graduate high school? As a youth pastor, I struggle with this. I want teens to hear God’s word preached in a way that allows them to understand it, but at the same time I also want them to grow in such a way that they will feel at home in an adult worship service.

1. Attending an adult service exposes your teen to deeper teaching and application. When they hear God’s word applied to many age groups, it helps them apply it to their own life.
2. Attending an adult service shapes expectations. When they come to youth group only they have an expectation of entertainment. When that is the expectation, it’s a no win situation. An adult service is never meant to entertain, it’s meant to engage, encourage and challenge.
3. Attending an adult service prepares them to engage in a church when they graduate. They learn how to discern Biblical teaching and genuine worship.

As your teen gets older they will need more exposure to the adult services. In middle school, maybe it’s once a month. There is no magic number. The goal is that we are helping them value being a part of the larger church body so that when they graduate, they know what it means to be an active adult in the Body of Christ.