Why Teens Are Leaving The Church # 3

For the past two weeks we’ve been unpacking an article about why teens are leaving the church. You can read the original article here and the first response here and the second here.

Reason # 4 – They found better feelings:

“Rather than an external, objective, historical faith, we’ve given our youth an internal, subjective faith. The evangelical church isn’t catechizing or teaching our kids the fundamentals of the faith, we’re simply encouraging them to “be nice” and “love Jesus”. When they leave home, they realize that they can be “spiritually fulfilled” and get the same subjective self-improvement principles (and warm-fuzzies) from the latest life-coach or from spending time with friends or volunteering at a shelter. And they can be truly authentic, and they jump at the chance because…”

In the book Almost Christian by Kenda Dean the faith of many teenagers is marked by an understanding that God wants them to be nice and to be happy. Teenagers who believe this filter their world through that lens. For a while Church may fill that role and think to themselves, “Church makes me a better person and I feel good when I go to church.” But this faith will never be able to last because feelings can be manufactured in other ways a part from a relationship with Christ. For example, I can feel a sense of belonging at a football game.

Does the good news of of Jesus make us feel better? You bet! I can’t think of anything more freeing than knowing that the Creator of the universe loves us unconditionally and cleansed us from our sins. What great news! That same Creator also wants us to let go of all our idols and lay them at His feet. He calls us to die to ourselves and live for His kingdom alone. God doesn’t promise happiness 24-7. Those of us who are adult believers know this. We need to help teenagers have a real faith beyond feelings.

That kind of faith includes:

Faith beyond warm fuzzies – Teach teens to see that “bad” feelings (conviction, loneliness, brokenness, grief, sadness) are all part of the faith of a mature adult. Lead teens by showing how to handle these feelings through the lens Christ.

Well Rounded Faith – Teens need to see that our whole bodies should be engaged in our faith. We engage our mind with the Scripture-anchored truths of the Christian faith. We engage our hearts when all our emotions are an opportunity to exercise trust in God based on the truths we know. We engage our actions when we actually live it out. Teens need to see faith in action in adults and to be coached so they can live it out in their own lives.

Try it out – Parents, one way you can do try this out is to find one truth about God. Take that truth and teach it to your teen. Then talk about how that truth works in all areas of life (good times, bad times, at school, at home, when you’re happy and sad…). Finally, find one way to live out that truth in all areas of life and make it an ongoing challenge for a month. The key is that the truth about God anchors all feeling and doing for their life.